A Scene from the GO Bus

I miss commuting to the city.... whether it's on the train, bus, or the subway, I miss the interesting happenings and characters I encounter there.... I know the last time I blogged about the I said that nothing interesting ever happens there.... maybe by comparison, the subway had desensitized me to what is potentially bloggable ..... so instead the scenes had to come via my Sony Cybershot through a dirty window.... well, I guess I just needed to ride it a little longer....

I hop on the 11:50 express from Meadowvale Station to Union Station, I was starting my day late.... an express bus means that it won't be making any stops along the way and will take you straight to your destination.... of course that also means that it's already made a bunch of stops before it got to Meadowvale...

I turn from showing the driver my ticket, to a sea of occupied seats.... scanning down the aisle I find an opening.... beside the open seat sat a figure in a dark hoodie.... with the hood pulled up all the way, it yields only a faint profile of a face.... as I approach, I soon learn that the dark figure is a young lady as she un-hoods to reveal her young face.... young, but weathered by some unspoken burden .... we smile politely as I sit.... I sense a dark aura around my new companion.... it suddenly makes sense to me as to why this was the only remaining seat on board.... in an attempt to avoid conversation, I pull out my notes and start reading....

"Excuse me, do you have the time?" she asks me.... "oh, it's about 5 mins to 12" I respond.... I sense her question was merely an attempt at conversational overture, so I quickly return to my reading.... in the corner of my eye I see her peeking at my notes.... "What are you studying" she asks me.... here we go, I think to myself, for the next 40 mins you're going to be this girl's bitch.... conversation bitch that is.... "oh, I have an exam" I respond avoiding any further divulgence....

"oh" she responds....

"Are we far from Toronto?" she continues..... "oh, not too far, probably half an hour? Are you not from around here?".... I'm so stupid, I think to myself, why am I helping this conversation along?.... "I was in Vanier for a while" she says..... "oh, where's that?".... she looks at me amused at my innocence.... or is it my ignorance?..... "it's the women's prison in Milton".....

"oh" I replied....

How long were you there for, what did you do to get thrown in there, I hope it wasn't murder.... these are the questions that dart through my head, but I thought it rude to verbalize them.... I did my best to maintain a stoic visage.... "Ya, I was in there for a few months for drugs" she volunteered.... clairvoyance?.... or am I just that transparent..... offering my hand to her, I say "I'm Angelo, it's nice to meet you".... "I'm Margaret"....

And so for the next half hour, I was Margaret's bitch.... so long extra half hour of studying.... just take it as an opportunity to practice your listening skills I soothed myself.... Margaret expressed to me her desire to stop using drugs and clean up her life...."marijuana".... "cocaine".... "alcohol".... "heroin".... "you don't smoke do you?".... I guess she got the gist of what I was studying for.... she recounted to me her strong urge for a smoke since she got out of the joint.... like reflex, I began extolling the virtues of smoking cessation... shut up Angelo I tell myself.... I shift to extolling the virtues of quitting drugs.... in Margaret's eyes I could see that this was a concept she had already taken to heart....

"Could you tell me how to get to [someplace downtown]?".... I pull out my map of the city to try and locate [someplace downtown].... Margaret studies the map.... the bus pulls into Union Station.... Margaret expresses once again her desire to clean up her life.... I wish her well.... we prepare to part ways.... she hands me back my map.... "oh, you can keep that" I say, again wishing her well....

I hope she finds her way....

'Does the road wind up-hill all the way?'

'Yes, to the very end.'

'Will the day’s journey take the whole long day?'

'From morn to night, my friend.'

'But is there for the night a resting-place?'

'A roof for when the slow dark hours begin.'

'May not the darkness hide it from my face?'

'You cannot miss that inn.'

'Shall I meet other wayfarers at night?'

'Those who have gone before.'

'Then must I knock, or call when just in sight?'

'They will not keep you standing at that door.'

'Shall I find comfort, travel-sore and weak?'

'Of labor you shall find the sum.'

'Will there be beds for me and all who seek?'

'Yea, beds for all who come.'

"Uphill"
~ C. Rossetti

TECHNORATI TAGS: GO bus ride

Another Deep Thought from the New York City Subway

okay, this didn't really happen on the New York City subway, but on a New York City bus.... the title is just for continuity purposes....

I found myself on the M96 heading towards the green 4, 5 and 6 subway line along Lexington Ave.... just that morning, I learned that despite running on the same track, the 4 and 5 line is an express to Harlem and that the 6 is the one to take if you want to get off at various stops in between downtown and uptown.... geez, why is life so complicated?... will I ever understand the NYC subway system?... anyways, Soulmate looks up and says, "That's for you".....

"O wonder!
How many goodly creatures are there here!
How beauteous mankind is! O brave new world
That has such people in't!"
- William Shakespeare (1554-1616)
from The Tempest

WORD to dat W.S.... wow she was right, it really is for me.... it made me think of a trinity of goodly creatures who have helped me along my recent journey.... Soulmate, Sr. Theresa, and DC....

Soulmate, if you're reading this, I haven't had a chance to really say thank you for that letter you wrote me on January 3, 2008.... it's what Dr. Conrad Fisher would have described as a "letter from God"... I've kept it close ever since.... I needed to hear that at that moment.... I knew there was a reason why we became soulmates way back when... unfortunately my short term memory takes over a lot, but fortunately since that letter, you have been splashing my face with much needed cold water with the goodly things that you do and the goodly person that you are....

Sr. Theresa, you taught me once again that sometimes a coincidence is no mere coincidence, but a divine happenstance.... Providence if you will.... your happening upon my blog and the perfectly beautiful storm of events that followed gave me a good smack back to the reality that gives me peace....

DC, you gave me a good punch in my gut.... an appropriate analogy since you are a mixed martial arts expert.... after still refusing to believe that a goodly Hand was still at work in my life, the series of events which began with you was an exclamation point to a couple of smacks and splashes of cold water to the face.... thank you brother....

For quite some time now, I have been standing on the edge of a cliff staring into the dark abyss of atheism.... I never jumped in, but man was I ever close... today, I am still standing on that cliff, but now, because of goodly people, it is no longer the tips of my toes which teeter on the edge, but the backs of my heels.... with my feet firmly planted, I face now the Mountain Top, and it is beautiful... I'm sure I'll probably glance behind me once in a while to look into the dark abyss, but it won't have the same pull on me ever again....

Remember folks that your actions have consequences.... even if you don't realize it, what you do may actually be transforming you into an instrument of the Almighty.... your words may be making you into a messenger of good news.... angels really do walk among us....

pay it forward....

TECHNORATI TAGS: new york city, MTA, train of thought, faith journey Soulmate

Deep Thoughts from the New York City Subway

I found myself on the M15 heading N on 1st Ave.... last time I was on this bus I was with soulmate.... I found myself alone this time.... I glanced up to look for some "Poetry in Motion".... instead I found this "Train of Thought".....

"I do not know what I may appear to the world; but to myself I seem to have been only like a boy playing on the seashore, and diverting myself in now and then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me."

- Sir Isaac Newton (1642-1727)
from Memoirs of the Life, Writings, and Discoveries of Sir Isaac Newton (1855)

the last time I glanced up on this bus, soulmate had "taken wings".... I still find myself looking for smoother pebbles and prettier shells.... but thanks to her I got me some feathers.... hopefully I can fashion them into wings and follow her to the other side of the great ocean of truth.... or at least to the other side of the East River....

I realized, getting on the 1 line at 96th street on Broadway that there were no "Poetry in Motion"s posted right now, just a bunch of "Train of Thought"s.....

"America was discovered accidentally by a great seaman who was looking for something else; when discovered it was not wanted; and most of the exploration for the next fifty years was done in the hope of getting through or around it. America was named after a man who discovered no part of the New World. History is like that, very chancy."
- Samuel Eliot Morison (1887-1976)
from The Oxford History of the American People (1965)

Hey, America, you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind, America!.... armpit fart sound....

Okay, this deep thought comes to us from Robert F. Kennedy....

CELEBRATE THE DEDICATION OF THE ROBERT F. KENNEDY BRIDGE
"Each time a man stands up for an IDEAL, or acts to improve the lot of others, or STRIKES OUT against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of HOPE, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring, those ripples build a current which can SWEEP DOWN the mightiest walls of oppression...."
- Robert F. Kennedy (1925-1968)

posted on occasion of the dedication of the Triborough Bridge in honour of RFK.... I'm happy to be alive to see this new era of Kennedy-esque HOPE and IDEALism with the election of President elect Obama.... but why did it have to cost me $4+ to cross that bridge coming from LaGuardia.... and I remember when I drove to New York last year, paying $10 to cross the George Washington Bridge and another $6 to cross the Queensboro bridge.... all in one trip....what the heck!... and it's not like you have a choice because Manhattan IS a freakin island.... oh well, just another argument for why you should use public transportation.... despite this, bridges sure are purdy to look at, especially at night.... here's the Triborough Bridge, now RFK bridge at night....I'm hoping that this will be my view next year.... fingers crossed, knock on wood....

TECHNORATI TAGS: new york city, MTA, train of thought, triborough bridge, robert f. kennedy bridge

Scences from the New York City Subway

I recently had a chance to hang out with an old soulmate of mine in New York City. She told me that she used to read my Friendster blog and particularly enjoyed reading about the "scenes from the subway". I told her that I stopped writing on that blog because I didn't really think anybody read it. She said that she thought I would stop writing if I ever found out she was reading it.... go figure.... Oh well, she inspired me to write once again, but this time I write about scenes from the New York City subway.....

My first few rides on the New York City transit system were surprisingly uneventful.... I mean c'mon! This IS New York city, where are all the interesting scenes that I could write about? Considering all the interesting happenings on the Toronto Subway, I was half expecting that I would encounter some doozies the second I stepped foot in a New York Subway car.... But alas, soulmate and I had to make our own interesting scences.... they must have been interesting scenes for the other passengers, I mean.... get your minds out of the gutter.....

5' plus Filipino girl and 6' flat Filipino guy hop on the Q44 bus, swipe their metrocards and sit down and start talking.... at next stop, girl gets up and asks driver to let them know when they get to the subway station.... driver tells them to get off the bus and cross the street because they're heading in the wrong direction.... he gives them each a new metrocard and writes "wrong side" on them...

Same girl and same guy, on the right bus this time, get caught up in their conversation about revenge and the bitch surgical resident upon whom said revenge was rendered.... they miss their stop in the deliciousness of their conversation....

Same girl and same guy (still) get on the Q25 bus.... "you're on the wrong side Miss".... not again?... must be her first time commuting in New York.... the guy looks very hungry and exhausted.....

Finally, something interesting... the 7 train stops at the 52nd street station, the doors close and suddenly the booming voice of a young man is heard.... "Ladies and gentlemen, may I please have your attention for a moment... I'm not selling these chocolates to benefit a school sports team or any charity.... I am selling these chocolates for myself.... If you could help out and buy some, I would really appreciate it.... it will help me stay off the streets".... That was the jist of it.... the lady two seats to my left found his speech convincing enough to buy a bag of M&M's for $1.... I admired his honesty, but not enough to shell out a US dollar.... which incidentally is only 99c Canadian now.... how the mighty have fallen....

Sitting across from me on the 7 train heading to Flushing is an elderly Chinese gentleman.... he's how my friend Jerome will look like when he's older I think to myself.... incidentally, I was heading to Flushing to see my friend Jerome....

Chinese lady who looks like my friend Young asks elderly Jerome something.... the conversation starts in English, but quickly turns into Mandarin.... apparently, she got on the wrong train and was heading in the wrong direction.... she looks to me with a questioning smile.... she probably thinks I'm Chinese.... don't look at me lady, I think to myself, I'm probably more lost than you are..... trust elderly Jerome, if he's anything like my Jerome then he's pretty smart.....

On the PATH train from Journal Square, I decide to get off at the re-opened World Trade Center station to get into Manhattan.... I hadn't visited Ground Zero since 2002 despite visiting NYC several times since then.... I was traumatized by that first visit.... decided to pay a well overdue courtesy call.... as the train pulled into the station, passengers get up to look out the windows at the gaping hole and construction site that is Ground Zero.... a reverent hush falls on the subway car.... despite the screeching of the train, the pounding of construction, and the scattered piles of twisted metal, this is a sacred place.... thousands of innocent souls sleep here.... Tu Anh Pham, The Falling Man, Father Mychal Judge, countless firefighters and police officers etc..... we all understood this.... the hush was maintained as we disembarked the subway car and was only broken as we rode the escalators to the surface where the rest of the tourists were climbing the fence and snapping pictures of Ground Zero....

In an attempt to test my theory that New Yorkers are actually nicer than Torontonians, I did not hesitate to ask directions from a variety of New Yorkers from little old ladies to gangsters and thug-like looking individuals.... none of them disappointed me.... little old lady even ran after me as the subway door almost closed on her hand to tell me to take the 2 line.... gangster guy was kind enough to indicate to me that we were arriving at the station I had asked him about.... they probably could tell from my accent that I was just a lost Torontonian and felt sorry for me....

On the PATH train heading to Journal Square from 33rd St.... while the train speeds along, the door slides open and elderly hobo comes into our car from the car ahead of ours.... "can I have your attention please".... sounds like a familiar speech I think to myself.... his speech however was about sparing some change for his new year's dinner.... what's more, his words were stammered and slurred, and not particularly eloquent like the young man with the chocolates.... in fact, his speech was incoherent at times.... "would be greatly appreciated the news years dinner" he kept repeating.... "God bless you the new years dinner".... the gentleman to my left gave him some change and a lady sitting down gave him her take-out.... "God bless you the new years dinner", as he made his way to the other end of the car......

I was happy to find the New York Subway's "Poetry on the Way".... they call theirs "Poetry In Motion".... Luckily I was able to get a shot of one poem....

Men Say they Know Many Things

by Henry David Thoreau

Men say they know many things;
But lo! They have taken wings, -
The arts and the sciences,

And a thousand appliances;
The wind that blows
Is all that anybody knows.

I wasn't surprised when soulmate said that she recognized the poet.... She knows many things of the arts and the sciences..... Lo! You have taken wings as well soulmate!.... Good luck on Jan 8, I'm sure you'll do great.... as for me, the wind that blows is all that I know for now.... I'll just pray for wings like yours.... God bless....

TECHNORATI TAGS: poetry in motion, New York City subway poetry, scenes from new york subway, new york subway scenes

Some More Scenes From the Subway

I haven't written about the subway in a long time! The reason for this is twofold. Firstly, ever since I started taking the GO train/bus, my travel time in the subway has been cut by more than half, thereby decreasing my exposure to the interesting happenings and characters that dwell there. Secondly, I think I've been exposed to these interesting happenings and characters enough, that nothing that goes on there even phases me anymore.... Except maybe for the following:

After a long day, I'm feeling really sleepy, so I close my eyes and try to sleep as the subway train jerks and squeals and screeches along.... the train stops at Spadina station and the doors open... I open my eyes to see a man come in with an obvious movement disorder.... he displays random, uncontrolled, jerky, and rapid movements.... the proper term in chorea, but I'm too tired to verify it with the files in my head, and much too tired to think of a diagnosis, so I close me eyes and try to sleep again... this way, I won't appear to be staring at him since he decide to sit right in front of me..... all of a sudden the train comes to a screeching halt in the middle of the tunnel and stays motionless for several minutes.... man with movement disorder jumps up suddenly and starts yelling!! I can't make out what he's saying, but he's yelling and flailing his arms around 30 cm from me!! The whole subway car turns to look in our direction.... What do I do?... I pretend not to be phased and I pretend to sleep again.... Huntington's Disease I think to myself.... there can be cognitive and psychiatric sequelae late in the disorder I think.... I keep my eyes slightly open to make sure he doesn't hit me.... the train starts up again, and he calms down.... I'm wide awake at this point, but I keep my eyes closed....

I realize that I'm in youngin country from St. George to Queen's Park stations, coz a lot of the conversations I hear go something like this: "like oh my god! could you believe blah blah blahed blah blah blah? Like what the heck is that, like doesn't blah blah blah like blah blah blah?! Like come on, like that's like crazy!! blah blah blah like blah blah like blah"... okay, do these girls actually go to the University of Toronto?!.... scary thing is that I understood what they said.....

It's the last day of the month, and like the excellent procrastinator that I am, I have left buying a new subway monthly pass to the last day.... needless to say the line-up at the Union Station ticket booth is long.... as I wait patiently in line I observe a little old man with the whitest of hair trying to purchase some subway tokens from the automated machine.... the machine doesn't seem to be working, so the little old man walks away.... he looks so frail and pale as he shuffles along.... he walks around to the other machines, I'm pretty sure those work, but he doesn't seem to get his tokens.... then he walks to the turn-style, what is he looking for.... he seems disoriented and continually fidgets with his wallet in his back pocket.... I suddenly realize that he may be short of cash, he's been trying to put a toonie ($2 coin) in the machine, but it think a token costs $2.25?.... realizing that I will miss my bus to suburbia if I continue to wait in line, I walk over the old gentleman, who at this point is watching other passengers buy tokens from the automated machine.... "excuse me sir" I say as I tap him on the shoulder "would you like to have my metropass, it's still good for one day".... he looks at me surprised, "oh thank you".... "you're welcome, take care now".... I run to catch my bus to suburbia....

While on the bus to suburbia, I think about the old gentleman, and hope he got home safe and sound... I think about my own parents as well, who themselves are getting older.... as the eldest offspring, it is my responsibility to ensure that my parents will be well taken care of, so they will never be short of cash, or will never have to wander around in the chaos of the subway.... I worry about them more and more, as their health fails them.... time has a disturbing way of flying by.... I remember the little old gentleman with the whitest of hair, and my own parents, as I read this poem:

A Dead Rose

O Rose! who dares to name thee?
No longer roseate now, nor soft, nor sweet;
But pale, and hard, and dry, as stubble-wheat, -
Kept seven years in a drawer-thy titles shame thee.

The breeze that used to blow thee
Between the hedgerow thorns, and take away
An odour up the lane to last all day, -
If breathing now, - unsweetened would forego thee.

The sun that used to smite thee,
And mix his glory in thy gorgeous urn,
Till beam appeared to bloom, and flower to burn, -
If shining now, - with not a hue would light thee.

The dew that used to wet thee,
And, white first, grow incarnadined, because
It lay upon thee where the crimson was, -
If dropping now, - would darken where it met thee.

The fly that lit upon thee,
To stretch the tendrils of its tiny feet,
Along thy leaf's pure edges, after heat, -
If lighting now, - would coldly overrun thee.

The bee that once did suck thee,
And build thy perfumed ambers up his hive,
And swoon in thee for joy, till scarce alive, -
If passing now, - would blindly overlook thee.

The heart doth recognise thee,
Alone, alone! The heart doth smell thee sweet,
Doth view thee fair, doth judge thee most complete, -
Though seeing now those changes that disguise thee.

Yes, and the heart doth owe thee
More love, dead rose! than to such roses bold
As Julia wears at dances, smiling cold! -
Lie still upon this heart-which breaks below thee!

Elizabeth Barrett Browning

TECHNORATI TAGS: poetry, TTC, subway scenes, elizabeth barrett browning

Poems from the Subway

They've recently changed the poems on the subway, so I thought I'd share a few of them....

By Christl Verduyn

By Stefan Psenak

En francais/In English:

Par/By:

Here's an interesting one..... Is it really a poem though?..... I think it would look great hanging in an art gallery.....
By the Way, check out the new trains:

I like the fact that the cars will be connected:

In case you encounter one of the many crazies that the subway is teeming with, you're no longer trapped in one car.... the sucky thing though, is that the front car no longer has a passenger window, so you can't watch the train speeding through the tunnels anymore.... oh well check out the other new features on the TTC website.....

TECHNORATI TAGS: poetry, toronto, ttc

More Scenes from the Subway

I must apologize, but a good portion of my life right now is spent on the subway, or within its immediate vicinity.....I have, however, become more accustomed to the chaos that goes on there....

I'm in the Kipling washroom again doing my business, when I hear a conversation going on inside one of the stalls....then i realize that it's more of a monologue...."You're the perfect man"...."she should realize that"....that's all I could make out....as I make my way to the sinks, guess who come's out of aforementioned stall, but our friend stocky black guy who was yelling in the mirror the last time....he's much calmer now, but clearly still not all there in the marble department.....I can add another adjective to his name.... disheveled....lacking in self-grooming skills....why doesn't she realize?....Differential diagnosis given the presence of hallucinations, delusions (of persecution and grandeur) for at least 2 mos duration: Schizophreniform Disorder, Schizophrenia Paranoid Type (If >6mos), Substance Induced Pyschotic d/o, Psychotic d/o 2ndary to GMC.....

A sudden shriek startles myself and the rest of the riders around me, we all turn to see a girl jump to her feet and run to the other end of the car where she and another girl hug and shriek some more...........the rest of us look at each other and smile..........for a moment the joy of their surprise reunion permeates the entire subway car................

I stare as a girl knits in a crowded, rush-hour subway car....I can't seem to figure out how it works.....I keep staring and it eventually starts to make sense.....then I think of how horrible it would be if the subway driver was one of those drivers who steps on the brakes too quickly and too hard....then the lady sitting beside her would have a penetrating ocular trauma......What's the management of penetrating ocular trauma?....immediate referral to ophthalmology! ABC's, don't press on eyball!!!!, do not remove knitting needle, check VA, check for diplopia, keep head elevated at 30-45 degrees to keep IOP down, keep NPO....

A guy charges through the doors of the subway car as the chimes just finished ringing....the doors close on his hand leaving his briefcase dangling outside the car....It's not worth it I think to myself.....then the conductor opens the doors again....for a split second I contemplate charging the doors myself....as the chimes ring, I find my feet running me towards the doors.....as the doors close on my bag I think....was it worth it?....I force the doors open to release my bag....aside from the embarassment, as I turn to face the rest of the passengers in the subway car, I think it was worth it.....

I'm walking to my car in the Kipling parking station, where I notice a man walking around looking suspiciously at all the cars....he doesn't notice me....as I approach my car, he stops at a red minivan where he proceeds to urinate on said red minivan.....disgusted, I click on my keyless entry.....the honk sound that it makes startles the man and he looks around but can't find the source of the honk....hehe....

Everybody turns to the back of the subway car as a man suddenly yells profanities.....I can't seem to find the source of the yelling, and all I can make out is f@#$ off and f@#$ing this and f@#$in' that (sorry for the censorship, but I'm fasting from profanities myself during this lenten season).....the yelling continues for severeal stations.....could it be our friend disheveled stocky black guy?....he finally gets off at Islington, and I'm actually disappointed to find that it's not our friend, but an old white man with an accent....passengers turn to each other and chuckle as old white man with an accent continues to yell through the subway car window as the train speeds away....

With no reading material at hand, I resort to reading the ads on the walls and ceiling....I am pleasantly surprised to find a subway poetry series...."Poetry on the Way"....this particular poem is a "tanaka".....another Japanese form like the haiku.....it consists of 31 syllables in 5 lines....the syllables are distributed as follows: 5, 7, 5, 7, and 7.....

shy wildflower found
peeking out from winter's bed
serendipity
seeing you after so long
a brief collision of joy

........I remember those two shrieking girlfriends.........

Speaking of adds in the subway, here's one of my favourites:

I didn't know goats were $50! What a bargain!
Here's the rest of the series:

check out their website: www.freethechildren.com

Angelo de los Angeles

Scenes from the Subway

Two Chinese men yelling their conversation across the subway car while the rest of us pretend not to notice or be disturbed.....

A Filipino girl sprawls herself out over three seats, bitchin' aloud to her girlfriend about her boyfriend problems....she probably thinks I don't understand, she probably thinks I'm Chinese....

A Brazilian? girl with the most intriguing way of articulating her speech....I am fascinated as I watch her lips move in the tangential reflection on the window....if you want to stare at someone on the subway, that's the way to do it without being noticed......

Okay, this scene is from the Kipling station washroom, not the actual train, but noteworthy nonetheless....as I am doing my business at the urinal, a stocky black guy yells into the mirror by the sink "Get the fuck off my face!"...."Don't you know how much these people hate you?!"...." They hate you like poison!".....I walk out bypassing the sinks, not washing my hands!.....

The rush hour crowds pack the train like sardines....it reminds me of rush hour in Japan, but not as bad...people smile politely at each other as they try to keep their balance whenever the train screeches to a halt.....in Japan you don't have to worry about toppling your neighbours over if you loose your balance, because the sheer human density makes it physically impossible.....

A couple "speak" to each other in sign language beneath a sign for the Spanish Language Center.....poetic.....I wonder how Spanish sign language looks like......

A slightly portly gentleman pulls out two McDonald's cheeseburgers....I realize that it's Thursday, double cheeseburger day.....I think back and miss the Tuesday BigMac days with Val, Hamid, Char, Mare and Mabes....Margaret would get my fries.....

A white lady in a long puffy-jacket sits in the seat located anterior and perpendicular to mine. I can't help but notice her disheveled appearance, she constantly searches in her pocket pulling out various items. As she does so, she stares straight ahead with her mouth ajar. I can't help but to stare, because as she fidgets in her pocket, she keeps hitting my knee. One item she pulls out of her pocket is a bottle of diazepam which she places in her lap as she continues to fidget.............

A huge fity-cent looking guy in army fatigue pants raps aloud acapella.....or does he have earphones on?.....oh well, I'm not gonna stare at him to find out......

.......I've learned not to find myself riding on the subway alone without some kind of reading material....you gotta be staring somewhere and you can only spend so much time reading the ads on the walls and ceiling.....In an attempt to mind my own business amidst all the subway chaos, I've been losing myself in my books....when I can't take any more medicine, I turn to poetry.....I re-discovered a poem that I remember as a child, framed on a wall in my aunt's apartment....I guess a child can't really appreciate the words, but the title stuck with me for some reason....I appreciate the words now:

Desiderata
Max Ehrmann

'Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.'