Saturday, December 23, 2006

A Happy Festivus For the Rest of Us!

My family doesn't believe in celebrating Festivus, but we do believe in Seinfeld! This year I decided to start some Festivus traditions of our own. So here is our Festivus pole:Thank you to my sweetie Tu Anh for lending me a pole from her store. If you're not a Seinfeld devotee, Festivus is a holiday started by Frank Constanza, George's dad. It was meant to be a non-denominational holiday, to fly in the face of the commercialism that has overtaken Christmas. Here is an excerpt from the episode "The Strike" that aired in 1997, which explains how Festivus began (a reading from the book of Seinology):

JERRY: Happy Festivus!

KRAMER: What's Festivus?

JERRY: When George was growing up..

GEORGE: (Interrupting) No!

JERRY: His father..

GEORGE: Stop it! It's nothing. It's a stupid holiday my father invented. It doesn't exist!

(Elaine enters while George is exiting)

ELAINE: Happy Festivus, Georgie.

(George leaves yelling out "God!")

KRAMER: Frank invented a holiday? He's so prolific!

later that day in the H&H Bagel Shop......

FRANK: Kramer, I got your message. I haven't celebrated Festivus in years! What is your interest?

KRAMER: Well, just tell me everything, huh?

FRANK: Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way.

KRAMER: What happened to the doll?

FRANK: It was destroyed. But out of that a new holiday was born … a Festivus for the rest of us!

KRAMER: That must've been some kind of doll.

FRANK: She was.
LOL!!!!! Awesome show!

According to Festivus tradition, aside from the Festivus pole, the evening should include the following rituals: Airing of Greivances and the Feats of Strength. (another reading from the book of Seinology):
FRANK: And at the Festivus dinner, you gather your family around, and you tell them all the ways they have disappointed you over the past year.

KRAMER: Is there a tree?

FRANK: No. Instead, there's a pole. It requires not decoration. I find tinsel distracting.

KRAMER: Frank, this new holiday of yours is scratching me right where I itch.

FRANK: Let's do it then! Festivus is back! I'll get the pole out of the crawl space.
later at Festivus dinner.....
FRANK: Welcome, new comers. The tradition of Festivus begins with the airing of grievances. I got a lot of problems with you people! And now you're gonna hear about it! You, Kruger. My son tells me your company stinks!

GEORGE: Oh, God.

FRANK: (To George) Quiet, you'll get yours in a minute. Kruger, you couldn't smooth a silk sheet if you had a hot date with a babe.. I lost my train of thought.
and later still.....
FRANK: And now as Festivus rolls on, we come to the feats of strength.

GEORGE: Not the feats of strength..

FRANK: This year, the honor goes to Mr. Kramer.

KRAMER: Uh-oh. Oh, gee, Frank, I'm sorry. I gotta go. I have to work a double shift at H&H.

JERRY: I thought you were on strike?

KRAMER: Well, I caved. I mean, I really had to use their bathroom. Frank, no offence, but this holiday is a little (makes a series of noises) out there.

GEORGE: Kramer! You can't go! Who's gonna do the feats of strength?

(Exit Kramer)

KRUGER: (Sipping liquor from a flask) How about George?

FRANK: Good thinking, Kruger. Until you pin me, George, Festivus is not over!

GEORGE: Oh, please, somebody, stop this!

FRANK: (Taking off his sweater) Let's rumble!

(Cuts to an outside view of the Costanza's house)

ESTELLE: I think you can take him, Georgie!

GEORGE: Oh, come on! Be sensible.

FRANK: Stop crying, and fight your father!

GEORGE: Ow! .. Ow! I give, I give! Uncle!

FRANK: This is the best Festivus ever!
I don't think my mother would appreciate it if we pulled this at Christmas dinner :)

Happy Festivus Everybody!!



tina said...

Woo. Happy Festivus too! :)


Angelo said...

Happy Festivus Tina =D

st1100pilot said...

Happy Festivus!

Angelo de los Angeles said...

Happy Festivus st1100pilot!

Mystery Maiden said...

Happy Festivus! Just passing through via BE - thanks for the chuckle, that's one of my favourite Seinfeld episodes.


Angelo said...

Happy Festivus Mystery! Glad to see another Seinfeldologist :)

ghee said...

LOL!I have no idea about Seinfeld and couldn`t relate at first by just reading the texts.And Tu Anh tolerated you by lending you a pole,haha!

I enjoyed the video.It was hilarious!Watching it was a good break,LOL!

So,happy festivus,Angelo!
btw,im not a new camus,right? ;)

Angelo de los Angeles said...

Happy Festivus Ghee!! Glad you enjoyed it :)

Angelo de los Angeles said...

btw, what's a camus?

Brian Buckle said...

Happy Festivus, Angelo, to you and all your readers. Thanks for dropping by my blog.

Angelo de los Angeles said...

Happy Festivus Brian!

scribbit said...

Yea, we laugh at Festivus too--gotta love Seinfeld!