but i stood and said goodbye

"nostalgia's thick as the August air" you sang to me.... "old conversations begin again".... you certainly transported me back to another time.... the smiles are the same, I hear the songs in the background like they were new again.... it's like I never left.... actually, that was not entirely your doing.... homie says I need to stop living in the past.... but I just can't help myself.... it just feels so right there.... with you....

when this song was new, and I first heard it, I feared its words.... I feared that if I let you go, I would lose you.... but I was willing to do so, to avoid being caught in the cross-fire.... unfortunately, we both know that I was wounded in that cross-fire.... I've finally healed now.... eventually I did end up losing you.... but it wasn't from holding on to you so tightly.... I was holding so tightly to my pain and anger.... I've finally let those go....

you're not "the one that got away".... don't put his thoughts into my head.... please don't turn me into him.... you're the one I let go but never really left.... you've always been there, no matter what I do to get away.... you're the one that haunts me.... haunts me with the way you cared.... with the way you understood.... with the way you gave of yourself to me like to no one else.... you are "the one".... you are the love of my life....

it's true.... you are the love of my life.... and I would be a fool to not give it one more try.... no matter how small the window that's been opened is.... I would, however, also be a fool to believe in my happy endings.... I just don't have that kind of faith anymore.... but maybe you still do....

TECHNORATI TAGS: butterfly
POSTED IN: POUR TOI