Wednesday, December 30, 2009

i miss the years that were erased

stop calling me friend.... why don't you just take a dagger and thrust in into my 4th or 5th left intercostal space at the mid-clavicular line why don't you.... I'm not your friend.... I'm your ex-boyfriend.... the one you spent six years of your life with?.... the one you were going to spend the rest of your life with?.... the one who was going to be the father of your children?.... hello, still remember me?.... speaking of which, you had no hesitations about booking San Agustin Church with me.... so why do you hesitate with others?.... because I'm not your friend, I never will be, and you haven't forgotten this in all these years....

I have been, and always will be much, much more to you than that.... just like you will always be much, much more than that to me.... we both have been trying to bury this fact over the years.... it's been over twelve years since you first lit your lighter to the wick of my soul, and with a simple thought, word, song from you.... you set me alight anew....

I think I have proven to you that I will never get sick of you.... we had the same discussion way back when.... I told you back then the same thing, and here I am still not sick of you.... I've been sick without you....

is it even a possibility for me to get over you?.... I think it is unlikely, but what am I supposed to do?.... that's what you want me to do.... how do I begin letting you go again.... especially now that you've sucked me into this awesome whirlwind....

tu me manques aussi....

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